graduation and real life.
i want to take a moment before getting into this to say thank you to my little sisters for being twins, which allowed me to see three sisters graduate this spring, but only required me to sit through two ceremonies. that's some math i can get behind. you guys are the best!but this post is dedicated to all three of you sisters. i'm so proud of you for your accomplishments so far, and i cannot wait to see what the next chapters of your lives will bring. big things ahead for you girls!
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it's graduation season! and with graduation season comes a lot of very overwhelmed 18 and 22-year olds, looking for their place in the world. and that's a scary place to be. starting college or work or looking for what's next is an uncomfortable feeling for most people. i know every time i come to a crossroads in my life (and it happens often, no matter how long you've been out of school), i get a bit of an anxious feeling, because even though crossroads are exciting, the unknown can be terrifying.i was lucky when i graduated to have a job that i liked, working for a company that i loved. i still work there today if that's any indication of the awesome hand i was dealt. but even with that, i was still unsure of what life was going to look like going forward. i was used to class, and friends around 24-7, and lots and lots of free time. and i was good with that. it was an equation i understood. i had no idea what to expect as a graduate, and the advice people give you often has more to do with how to start your career than how to start your life (and those are two very different things, from someone who has been there). so here's the advice i wish i had been given for entering my real life.
(this is literally the only graduation photo i could find...maybe the rest are hard copy, and who knows where they are? hi luke!)
1. you will need to schedule time with your friends.in high school and college, you're with your friends all.the.time. you don't have to worry about when you'll see them next, because you have class with them/live with them/party with them. it's a non-issue. and then all of a sudden, you graduate. and some people move home, some move closer to their jobs, and some seem to drop off the face of the earth. a big lesson for me was that scheduling time with people is a new reality. and it may take some people longer than others to realize they have to pick up the phone every once in a while if the friendship is going to continue. so be patient, keep trying to get something planned, and remember that just because you aren't seeing people more than once a week, doesn't mean they like you any less. it's just an adjustment period.2. it's okay to live like you're still on a college budget.in fact, i highly recommend living on a college budget even if you are getting a paycheck that has bigger numbers on it than you've ever seen on a single check before. you get accustomed to your new income really quickly, so the longer you can put off living up to your means, the more you can save, and the longer you can stay content with your newfound income. there is nothing wrong with still eating macaroni and cheese a few meals a week, and bringing your own lunch to work with you. i still bring my own lunch, and ride the bus, and make my own coffee in the morning, and i've been graduated for four years. but it's allowed me to save more money than i ever imagined i would be able to, and i'm thankful every day that i've done it.3. you will feel like you have no time to yourself.your schedule will most likely look like this: wake up, go to work, come home, (sometimes) go to the gym, eat dinner, get ready for the next day, get ready for bed, go to sleep. at first you will feel exhausted and like you have no life, because work has left you no time for one. but don't worry, because slowly but surely you will get used to it. it will not feel like school at all, but that's okay, because it's not. and it will become normal, and you will start to feel like you have a life again. just hold on for when you get that feeling back. it will happen, i promise.4. don't worry about a few months without a "real" job.i wonder a lot what my life would look like if i had been brave enough to graduate without a job lined up. would i have taken a year off to travel abroad again? would i have volunteered, would i have gone on a long-term mission trip? would i have been an awesome waitress and raked in some serious cash while i looked for a job? maybe. and those are all amazing options. i was lucky to have a job the year i graduated, because many peers didn't, but not having a job at graduation is in no way indicative of future success or failure. you can do a lot of living in the year after graduation, and not being employed right away may lead you to a path you never imagined. it might be exactly what is supposed to be happening to you during this season of your life. (in truth, i probably wouldn't be married to my husband right now if i had been on a different/unemployed path, and since i strongly believe in "everything happens for a reason", i was supposed to have my job when i did. but it's fun to imagine sometimes.)5. things will change, and that's okay.self-explanatory. your friends will change. your schedule will change. you will change. it will feel really gross and weird at first. but then, just like when you started high school or college, you will get used to the changes. and they will make you grow as a person, and move you forward in life. and that is a good thing.congrats to all of you graduates, whether from high school, college, or graduate school. even though the ceremonies are terrible to sit through, you just did a pretty awesome thing. be proud of yourselves, and don't be afraid of the path ahead. it will be amazing.
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